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– Rob Waugh for Metro.co.uk

The fact of the matter is British pubs are closing down at a rate of 31 per week. Of course, with nowhere left to drink, hedgehogs have turned to drinking cheap booze purchased from grocery stores. Ultimately, they end up stumbling around the High Street in a drunken stupor, urinating in bushes. Society needs to act before badgers follow suit and things get REALLY ugly.

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