Dear Johnny Depp,
You’ve been following my lead for far too long. Time to stop riding my coattails and branch out on your own. I thought that was you hiding in the bushes at Bran Castle, peaking out at me, anxiously waiting for your opportunity to recreate my photo. This is no longer entertaining – just sad. I am cutting you free. Do your own thing. Go your own way. I wish you luck.
PS: no – you cannot have my hairdresser’s name.