Waitrose really need to get their act together. I bought one of their ‘Essential Waitrose’ 500 g boxes of Brazilian spiders. When I opened it, I was shocked to find a banana inside. I didn’t think to take a picture of it. The banana escaped and I cornered it shortly thereafter. Just when I got a grip on it, it slid free of its peel and disappeared somewhere in my flat. Later, while searching for it, I slipped on the peel and injured my buttocks. The banana is still at large. There ought to be a law.