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Lying is an important part of daily life. It maintains social bonds and prevents the human race from collapsing. Yet, this simple task, which NTs perform so effortlessly, is such a struggle for us. It’s not that we’re confused with all the types of lies available to us – that’s black and white – it’s just that we genuinely struggle to produce the lies that society demands of us; it creates a deep turmoil within us. When and if I am forced by social convention to lie, I immediately feel that I am standing before a judge, falsely accused of murder; and the feeling of guilt NEVER goes away. I remember all my lies and I’ll never forget the lies I have heard. But I’ll never forget the effects of my brutal honesty, either. I have taken far more heat for being honest than lying. It’s even worse when, trying desperately to please, I manufacture a half-hearted lie with lots of context and explanation of its creation. People hate that; they like solid lies, far removed from the truth. So, what are we to do? How do we cope with having to lie, on top of everything else we struggle with? Well, here’s my recommendation.

Instead of lying, just change the subject.

Friend: How do you like my hair cut?

Me: Is that a new shirt?

 

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