Homeless people to be fined up to £1,000 for sleeping rough
Another fine example of successive governments slashing funding leading to systemic societal problems that they find a way to profit Continue reading
Category Archives
Archive for: Absurd Headline News
Searing headlines torn from the sordid pages of reality!
Love, hate, lust and crime explode from the page!
These are the ACTUAL HEADLINES from Metro.co.uk – an Earth-shattering cornucopia of absurdity coupled with insightful commentary from yours truly! Remember, we’re all stuck on a rock floating through space, so enjoy these before we all spiral downwards into eternal darkness – or your Internet connection goes down, whichever comes first.
Please note: I did not author the original articles; I am merely commenting on them, via Metro’s Facebook page. I got into this habit when I noticed several people complaining that articles were not news worthy (and worst!); but I had fun adding my absurd, satirical commentary and interacting with other Metro readers who liked my comments. Thus, I decided to feature a collection of these comments on my blog. If you click on the images provided, you will open the original article as it appeared in Metro.co.uk. When I quote directly from an article, I will reference the journalist’s name. If you float your mouse over the images, you should see the journalist’s name as well.
Mystery as massive snowballs the size of snowmen’s heads wash up out of the sea
I don’t want to tell police how to do their jobs, but they should be canvassing neighbourhoods and interviewing homeowners Continue reading
14 things only winter runners know
Headline should read: People Who Run in the Winter Only Know Fourteen Things
Skeleton of man missing for 18 years turns up in alleyway three weeks after his wife died
In a second equally startling turn of events, police analysed the above photo and found the desiccated, greyish severed head Continue reading
Mum finds a snail living inside a growth on her son’s knee
WANTED – family photographer to capture mother and son in their moment of happiness. Preferably with experience shooting a small Continue reading
Boy, 3, who wrote a letter to his beagle in ‘doggy heaven’ receives a heart-warming reply
I don’t want to upset the kid, but judging by the replacement of the word ‘four’ with the number ‘4’ Continue reading
Inside out teddy bears aren’t cuddly AT ALL
What a great way to teach children that beauty comes from within – whatever that means.
Businesswoman finds drunk stranger asleep in her bed so takes a selfie
He also ate her porridge and sat in her chair, breaking it into pieces.
Trapped on a rock floating in space 