Ignoring popular opinion and common sense, I bravely walked along the well-trodden Gillingham High Street. During my brief sojourn, I Continue reading
Searing headlines torn from the sordid pages of reality!
Love, hate, lust and crime explode from the page!
These are the ACTUAL HEADLINES from Metro.co.uk – an Earth-shattering cornucopia of absurdity coupled with insightful commentary from yours truly! Remember, we’re all stuck on a rock floating through space, so enjoy these before we all spiral downwards into eternal darkness – or your Internet connection goes down, whichever comes first.
Please note: I did not author the original articles; I am merely commenting on them, via Metro’s Facebook page. I got into this habit when I noticed several people complaining that articles were not news worthy (and worst!); but I had fun adding my absurd, satirical commentary and interacting with other Metro readers who liked my comments. Thus, I decided to feature a collection of these comments on my blog. If you click on the images provided, you will open the original article as it appeared in Metro.co.uk. When I quote directly from an article, I will reference the journalist’s name. If you float your mouse over the images, you should see the journalist’s name as well.
One of them asked me how my mother was. I took offence – what business is it of his? “He” Continue reading
I went to use the loo in my own flat, but had to buy a caffè mocha first. I think Continue reading
In related news, a lorry packed with nuts skidded across the chocolate road and tore wide open upon tearing through Continue reading
Finally goths and emos, once resistant to the brush-once-a-day mentality, can enjoy the same degree of oral hygiene formally reserved Continue reading
I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver. Continue reading
Furthermore, French Dressing will become just “Dressing”, French’s Classic Yellow Mustard will be shortened to “Classic Yellow Mustard”, Gérard Depardieu Continue reading
A sad situation. My advice is simple and straight forward. Speak to your employer. Invite him or her to your Continue reading