Ghost hunter horrified that Poundland is selling ouija boards for Halloween
Buyer beware. It’s cheap for a reason. Spirits will have trouble understanding you. I tried one and the spirit was Continue reading
Searing headlines torn from the sordid pages of reality!
Love, hate, lust and crime explode from the page!
These are the ACTUAL HEADLINES from Metro.co.uk – an Earth-shattering cornucopia of absurdity coupled with insightful commentary from yours truly! Remember, we’re all stuck on a rock floating through space, so enjoy these before we all spiral downwards into eternal darkness – or your Internet connection goes down, whichever comes first.
Please note: I did not author the original articles; I am merely commenting on them, via Metro’s Facebook page. I got into this habit when I noticed several people complaining that articles were not news worthy (and worst!); but I had fun adding my absurd, satirical commentary and interacting with other Metro readers who liked my comments. Thus, I decided to feature a collection of these comments on my blog. If you click on the images provided, you will open the original article as it appeared in Metro.co.uk. When I quote directly from an article, I will reference the journalist’s name. If you float your mouse over the images, you should see the journalist’s name as well.
GP surgery confused for ‘hot and sexy’ sauna club in phone number mix-up
That explains a thing or two. I went there with an ear ache that needed to be looked at. When Continue reading
Police safety camera van crashes through hedge sparing drivers speeding tickets
I don’t want to tell police how to do their job, but if they want to camouflage a vehicle, Continue reading
Donald Trump calls Thailand ‘Thighland’ during sweat-soaked speech about washing machines
Things went further downhill when he mentioned Lake Titicaca.
Dawn Butler stopped by police ‘searching for gang and knife crime’
So what? I was also stopped by police. I was dressed as Edward Scissorhands and driving a bulldozer, but Continue reading
Moving from the country to the city made me more comfortable in my brown skin
I was a farmhand, general labourer and construction worker for many years. When I dressed up as a half-Mauritian, Continue reading
Drivers baffled after arrows painted on new roundabout in wrong direction
I was driving around this roundabout, listening to Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven”, and I heard a Satanic message.
Transparent TV labelled the most useless invention ever
I’m incredibly angry that my invention, Sleeves on a Vest, lost out to this piece of junk. Why? I think Continue reading
