Searing headlines torn from the sordid pages of reality!

Love, hate, lust and crime explode from the page!

These are the ACTUAL HEADLINES from – an Earth-shattering cornucopia of absurdity coupled with insightful commentary from yours truly! Remember, we’re all stuck on a rock floating through space, so enjoy these before we all spiral downwards into eternal darkness – or your Internet connection goes down, whichever comes first.

Please note: I did not author the original articles; I am merely commenting on them, via Metro’s Facebook page. I got into this habit when I noticed several people complaining that articles were not news worthy (and worst!); but I had fun adding my absurd, satirical commentary and interacting with other Metro readers who liked my comments. Thus, I decided to feature a collection of these comments on my blog. If you click on the images provided, you will open the original article as it appeared in When I quote directly from an article, I will reference the journalist’s name. If you float your mouse over the images, you should see the journalist’s name as well.