Boy, 9, suspended after threatening to make friend vanish with One Ring
When he tried to get back into the school the principal bellowed: “You … Shall … Not … Pass!!!”
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Archive for: Absurd Headline News
Bestselling author, researcher and medical pioneer’s obituary opens by describing her as ‘overweight’ and ‘plain of feature’
If it’s any consolation, when Jennifer Aniston dies they’ll viciously attack her ability to solve quadratic equations and use gel Continue reading
Jar of Nutella destroys family home and kills pet dogs
This is a call to arms. Every year, one person is injured in a Nutella related accident. Government needs to Continue reading
14 totally inappropriate logos that should never have got past quality control
Let’s do a Rorschach test! I see King Kong slipping on the Empire State Building and ended up in a Continue reading
Shoplifter caught thanks to distinctive ‘I pooped today’ t-shirt he wore to go stealing
He also had a distinctive beard and was wrapped in a blue bed sheet. But the t-shirt certainly didn’t Continue reading
Woman catches Amazon driver mid-squat pooing in her garden
She also showed officers pictures of the driver pooing in the men’s toilet at work, the public stalls Continue reading
Pensioner drives mobility scooter on busy motorway causing massive traffic jam
“The Spanish Job” is an upcoming British comedy caper film. It tells the story of Charlie Croker (Michael Caine), Continue reading
Murder suspect escapes 12-storey prison by tying bedsheets together
Prison officials should have become suspicious when the inmates requested 87 bedsheets, but you know what they say – Continue reading
Trapped on a rock floating in space 