You Can’t Rush Quality

  Every Thursday at lunch hour, I run a design club for my year 3 and 4 students. During the Continue reading →

Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

Farmer builds 30ft wall of hay to ‘annoy neighbours who blocked his planning permission’

He has two brothers. One brother made a wall out of sticks and the oldest brother made one out of Continue reading →

Boris Johnson refuses to apologise for saying women in burkas look like letterboxes

Maybe that’s true, but I remain open-minded and inclusive. I gave a woman in a burka a letter to my Continue reading →

Fisherman pulls Uzi submachine gun out of canal in London

Chuck Norris dropped it when he leaned over the edge to check his moustache in the reflection.

Town flooded with chocolate after storage tank spilled across roads

In related news, a lorry packed with nuts skidded across the chocolate road and tore wide open upon tearing through Continue reading →

Thug wielding Samurai sword filmed threatening to ‘slice’ ice-cream van worker

In related news, the film rights have been snapped up by Steven Seagal. His next direct-to-DVD opus will be called Continue reading →

Restaurant gives diners water pistols to fight off chip-stealing seagulls

A flock of seagulls stole my chips and I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran Continue reading →