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This is about my own private autism.
I am autistic, first and foremost. Some may look at me and think: white male (or worst!). People seem to like to do that sort of thing, these days. But I believe my autism trumps everything. It is who I am. It completely controls me, whether I like it or not. Brain over body – and my brain is barely controlled chaos! Fifty one years on this planet, coupled with a strong interest in science, has lead me to this conclusion. Feel free to make your own conclusion, based upon your own thoughts and experiences. Feel free to start your own blog.
Each autistic person is different. The human brain is far too complex to allow easy comparisons. I would never assume that everything I write here will apply / relate to ALL autistic people. I do not wish to represent or advocate. I do not want to lead. I have no ego. I am a humble facilitator, wishing to share advice, opinions and – hopefully – some facts. If my writing suggests some sort of “privilege” (what a horrible, dismissive term that has become!) or “arrogance”, it is unintentional. The fact is, I have a lifelong obsession with words – their origin, meaning, pronunciation and use. I am constantly learning and re-learning words. Even basic words I have to look up, to make sure I am still pronouncing them properly. I dwell on pronunciations. I take apart words, exposing syllables. I wonder how it was made. But I rarely talk.
Writing is a skill I have developed by studying others. Like an actor, I study the script – going over it, again and again. I can deliver it perfectly to get my message across to you, but I am merely playing a role – for your benefit. I work hard. I aim to please. Yes – I have feelings! My words, which may impress when strung together, have no emotion or social context; they aren’t sugar coated. Blunt and to the point, they are meant to convey ideas. For ideas are all I have – ideas and skills I have carefully nurtured. It has taken me a very long time to come to this conclusion about myself, and it’s been difficult, but I’m afraid that’s all I can really contribute – ideas and skills. Ideas are the greatest! So, please allow me to share some of them with you. I may struggle to relate, but I very much want to contribute and be helpful.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
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