Town flooded with chocolate after storage tank spilled across roads
In related news, a lorry packed with nuts skidded across the chocolate road and tore wide open upon tearing through Continue reading
Now you can clean your teeth using black toothpaste
Finally goths and emos, once resistant to the brush-once-a-day mentality, can enjoy the same degree of oral hygiene formally reserved Continue reading
Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain
I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver. Continue reading
Brexit supporters want British passports without French words – there’s one major flaw
Furthermore, French Dressing will become just “Dressing”, French’s Classic Yellow Mustard will be shortened to “Classic Yellow Mustard”, Gérard Depardieu Continue reading
Almost half of Brits are too scared to have a poo at work
A sad situation. My advice is simple and straight forward. Speak to your employer. Invite him or her to your Continue reading
Thug wielding Samurai sword filmed threatening to ‘slice’ ice-cream van worker
In related news, the film rights have been snapped up by Steven Seagal. His next direct-to-DVD opus will be called Continue reading
Boris Johnson refuses to apologise for saying women in burkas look like letterboxes
Maybe that’s true, but I remain open-minded and inclusive. I gave a woman in a burka a letter to my Continue reading
Brilliant pictures capture the absolute HORROR of being attacked by a flock of seagulls
This happened to me once …. and I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all Continue reading
