Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

Brexit supporters want British passports without French words – there’s one major flaw

Furthermore, French Dressing will become just “Dressing”, French’s Classic Yellow Mustard will be shortened to “Classic Yellow Mustard”,  Gérard Depardieu Continue reading →

Almost half of Brits are too scared to have a poo at work

A sad situation. My advice is simple and straight forward. Speak to your employer. Invite him or her to your Continue reading →

Thug wielding Samurai sword filmed threatening to ‘slice’ ice-cream van worker

In related news, the film rights have been snapped up by Steven Seagal. His next direct-to-DVD opus will be called Continue reading →

Boris Johnson refuses to apologise for saying women in burkas look like letterboxes

Maybe that’s true, but I remain open-minded and inclusive. I gave a woman in a burka a letter to my Continue reading →

Brilliant pictures capture the absolute HORROR of being attacked by a flock of seagulls

This happened to me once …. and I ran, I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all Continue reading →

Is this song stuck in your head too?

Remember that eighties song “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off”? Upon reflection, I think that might be true; Continue reading →

The top three things you never want to find in a jar of Marmite

The top three things you never want to find in a jar of Marmite: 3. Insects 2. Human hair 1. Continue reading →