Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

Where are you from?

Accents. This post is about accents. I guess I have one. It must stand out. Last week, I called up Continue reading →

For Lovers of Surrealism, Magic Realism & Weird Fiction

When I started Kadath Press back in 1996, my Web site received visitors from around the world. By far, the Continue reading →

People are not okay with Tesco’s self-service checkouts wishing them a Merry Christmas

One of them asked me how my mother was. I took offence – what business is it of his? “He” Continue reading →

Friends dare each other to lick electric fly swatter

Kids these days have it all. When I was young, we had to lick a rolled-up newspaper.

A really smelly poo in the middle of a carriage caused a train to be cancelled

As a result, the new London Underground audible passenger warning says: Mind the crap.

Now you can clean your teeth using black toothpaste

Finally goths and emos, once resistant to the brush-once-a-day mentality, can enjoy the same degree of oral hygiene formally reserved Continue reading →

Boy, 3, scared to use the toilet after he was ‘drop-kicked by girl in Nando’s bathroom’

My neighbour’s son was dropped-kicked by a thirteen year old girl in in the KFC ladies toilet and he couldn’t Continue reading →