Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

Farmer builds 30ft wall of hay to ‘annoy neighbours who blocked his planning permission’

He has two brothers. One brother made a wall out of sticks and the oldest brother made one out of Continue reading →

Boris Johnson refuses to apologise for saying women in burkas look like letterboxes

Maybe that’s true, but I remain open-minded and inclusive. I gave a woman in a burka a letter to my Continue reading →

Fisherman pulls Uzi submachine gun out of canal in London

Chuck Norris dropped it when he leaned over the edge to check his moustache in the reflection.

Mother! – Film Review

  I understand there’s been a lot of discussion and speculation regarding what Mother! is about. For me, having just Continue reading →

You don’t have to buy anything in Starbucks to be able to use to their loo anymore

I went to use the loo in my own flat, but had to buy a caffè mocha first. I think Continue reading →

Town flooded with chocolate after storage tank spilled across roads

In related news, a lorry packed with nuts skidded across the chocolate road and tore wide open upon tearing through Continue reading →

Thug wielding Samurai sword filmed threatening to ‘slice’ ice-cream van worker

In related news, the film rights have been snapped up by Steven Seagal. His next direct-to-DVD opus will be called Continue reading →