Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

Where are you from?

Accents. This post is about accents. I guess I have one. It must stand out. Last week, I called up Continue reading →

People are not okay with Tesco’s self-service checkouts wishing them a Merry Christmas

One of them asked me how my mother was. I took offence – what business is it of his? “He” Continue reading →

Now you can clean your teeth using black toothpaste

Finally goths and emos, once resistant to the brush-once-a-day mentality, can enjoy the same degree of oral hygiene formally reserved Continue reading →

This Primark shopper got more than she bargained for when she checked the label of her new dress

I was shocked when I bought a bargain shirt and a message on the tag read: “My name is Juan Continue reading →

Farmer builds 30ft wall of hay to ‘annoy neighbours who blocked his planning permission’

He has two brothers. One brother made a wall out of sticks and the oldest brother made one out of Continue reading →

Chancellor claims driving trains is so easy ‘even a woman could do it’

  Actually, if women were driving them maybe they’d run on time for a change. I say we try it.

Rude Arrows: RAF pilot denies leaving giant penis vapour trail in sky

    A similar scene was cut from ‘Top Gun’. Producers thought it already had enough homoerotic undertones.