Chancellor claims driving trains is so easy ‘even a woman could do it’
Actually, if women were driving them maybe they’d run on time for a change. I say we try it.
Farmer builds 30ft wall of hay to ‘annoy neighbours who blocked his planning permission’
He has two brothers. One brother made a wall out of sticks and the oldest brother made one out of Continue reading
Couple get trapped in unlocked cupboard for two days while ‘high on drugs’
If you can stand two days together locked inside a cupboard, high as a kite and surrounded by excrement, then Continue reading
Bestselling author, researcher and medical pioneer’s obituary opens by describing her as ‘overweight’ and ‘plain of feature’
If it’s any consolation, when Jennifer Aniston dies they’ll viciously attack her ability to solve quadratic equations and use gel Continue reading
Rude Arrows: RAF pilot denies leaving giant penis vapour trail in sky
A similar scene was cut from ‘Top Gun’. Producers thought it already had enough homoerotic undertones.
Almost half of Brits are too scared to have a poo at work
A sad situation. My advice is simple and straight forward. Speak to your employer. Invite him or her to your Continue reading
Bodybuilder reveals how he almost died from ladybird bite
Ladybirds have been keeping bodybuilders off my plants for decades. They are a highly effective, completely natural, 100% environmentally friendly Continue reading
Ghost Story
In a recent issue of Fortean Times (recommended reading), I learnt that Mitch Winehouse claims Amy Winehouse’s ghost returns to Continue reading
