This is about my own private autism.
I am autistic, first and foremost. Some may look at me and think: white male (or worst!). People seem to like to do that sort of thing, these days. But I believe my autism trumps everything. It is who I am. It completely controls me, whether I like it or not. Brain over body – and my brain is barely controlled chaos! Fifty one years on this planet, coupled with a strong interest in science, has lead me to this conclusion. Feel free to make your own conclusion, based upon your own thoughts and experiences. Feel free to start your own blog.
Each autistic person is different. The human brain is far too complex to allow easy comparisons. I would never assume that everything I write here will apply / relate to ALL autistic people. I do not wish to represent or advocate. I do not want to lead. I have no ego. I am a humble facilitator, wishing to share advice, opinions and – hopefully – some facts. If my writing suggests some sort of “privilege” (what a horrible, dismissive term that has become!) or “arrogance”, it is unintentional. The fact is, I have a lifelong obsession with words – their origin, meaning, pronunciation and use. I am constantly learning and re-learning words. Even basic words I have to look up, to make sure I am still pronouncing them properly. I dwell on pronunciations. I take apart words, exposing syllables. I wonder how it was made. But I rarely talk.
Writing is a skill I have developed by studying others. Like an actor, I study the script – going over it, again and again. I can deliver it perfectly to get my message across to you, but I am merely playing a role – for your benefit. I work hard. I aim to please. Yes – I have feelings! My words, which may impress when strung together, have no emotion or social context; they aren’t sugar coated. Blunt and to the point, they are meant to convey ideas. For ideas are all I have – ideas and skills I have carefully nurtured. It has taken me a very long time to come to this conclusion about myself, and it’s been difficult, but I’m afraid that’s all I can really contribute – ideas and skills. Ideas are the greatest! So, please allow me to share some of them with you. I may struggle to relate, but I very much want to contribute and be helpful.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Kind Regards,
Cameron
Substitute “Idaho” with “Autism” and you might be onto something!
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Living in your own Private Idaho
Underground like a wild potato
Don’t go on the patio
Beware of the pool
Blue bottomless pool
It leads you straight, right through the gate
That opens on the pool
You’re living in your own Private Idaho
Watch out for signs that say “hidden driveways”
Don’t let the chlorine in your eyes
Blind you to the awful surprise
That’s been waitin’ for you at
The bottom of the bottomless blue, blue, blue pool
You’re out of control, the rivers that roll
You fell into the water and down to Idaho
Get out of that state
Get out of the state you’re in
You better beware
You’re living in your own Private Idaho
Keep off the path (your own private Idaho)
The lawn may be green but you better not be seen
Walkin’ through a gate that leads you down
Down to a pool fraught with danger
It’s a pool full of strangers
Where do I go from here to a better state than this?
Well
Don’t be blind to the big surprise
Swimming round and round like the deadly hand
Of a radium clock
At the bottom
Of the pool
I-I-I-daho
Woah-oh, woah-oh, woah-oh, oh
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Get out of that state
Get out of that state
You’re living in your own Private Idaho
Livin’ in your own Private
Idaho
“Lonely Lovebot” by MollyConnollyxx is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
Trapped on a rock floating in space 