Blackbird rides eagle in latest display of nature being badass

Note to all passengers: the baggage allowance is ONE nut, berry or seed maximum size of 56 x 45 x Continue reading →

This lion chilling in a wheelbarrow would still rip you apart and eat you raw

For future reference, this is the most convenient way to move a lion from one side of your garden to Continue reading →

World’s most venomous spider found in Waitrose home delivery

  Waitrose really need to get their act together. I bought one of their ‘Essential Waitrose’ 500 g boxes of Continue reading →

Drunk hedgehog found covered in booze, unable to explain where he’d been

The fact of the matter is British pubs are closing down at a rate of 31 per week. Of course, Continue reading →

Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

People are not okay with Tesco’s self-service checkouts wishing them a Merry Christmas

One of them asked me how my mother was. I took offence – what business is it of his? “He” Continue reading →

Friends dare each other to lick electric fly swatter

Kids these days have it all. When I was young, we had to lick a rolled-up newspaper.

A really smelly poo in the middle of a carriage caused a train to be cancelled

As a result, the new London Underground audible passenger warning says: Mind the crap.