Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

How to Use a Toaster – THE last word in toaster usage!

Great news! My technical manuals entitled ‘How to Use a Toaster’ are being published as a twelve volume set. Each Continue reading →

Where are you from?

Accents. This post is about accents. I guess I have one. It must stand out. Last week, I called up Continue reading →

Spiderman news!

This just in – Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of North Korea, is being considered for the role of the villain Continue reading →

Is Automatic Writing for You?

To my knowledge, automatic writing was first formally introduced as a literary technique by André Breton, founder of surrealism. Apparently, Continue reading →

The Sicilian Shirt Tag Quandary

I found these thoughtful sentiments on the tag of a shirt I bought. To be honest, the shirt does not Continue reading →

People are not okay with Tesco’s self-service checkouts wishing them a Merry Christmas

One of them asked me how my mother was. I took offence – what business is it of his? “He” Continue reading →

Friends dare each other to lick electric fly swatter

Kids these days have it all. When I was young, we had to lick a rolled-up newspaper.