Bodybuilder reveals how he almost died from ladybird bite

Ladybirds have been keeping bodybuilders off my plants for decades. They are a highly effective, completely natural, 100% environmentally friendly Continue reading →

The Ultimate Guide to Resisting, Undermining and Destabilizing Boris and his Brexit Circus: Step 1

  We live in a democracy, so I’m told. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of Brexit without shame or Continue reading →

Blackbird rides eagle in latest display of nature being badass

Note to all passengers: the baggage allowance is ONE nut, berry or seed maximum size of 56 x 45 x Continue reading →

This lion chilling in a wheelbarrow would still rip you apart and eat you raw

For future reference, this is the most convenient way to move a lion from one side of your garden to Continue reading →

Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

Where are you from?

Accents. This post is about accents. I guess I have one. It must stand out. Last week, I called up Continue reading →

People are not okay with Tesco’s self-service checkouts wishing them a Merry Christmas

One of them asked me how my mother was. I took offence – what business is it of his? “He” Continue reading →

Friends dare each other to lick electric fly swatter

Kids these days have it all. When I was young, we had to lick a rolled-up newspaper.