Bodybuilder reveals how he almost died from ladybird bite

Ladybirds have been keeping bodybuilders off my plants for decades. They are a highly effective, completely natural, 100% environmentally friendly Continue reading →

Dr. No Santa Claus

When I was young, Christmas was full of wonder. How did he know what to get us? How did he Continue reading →

The Ultimate Guide to Resisting, Undermining and Destabilizing Boris and his Brexit Circus: Step 1

  We live in a democracy, so I’m told. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of Brexit without shame or Continue reading →

Blackbird rides eagle in latest display of nature being badass

Note to all passengers: the baggage allowance is ONE nut, berry or seed maximum size of 56 x 45 x Continue reading →

This lion chilling in a wheelbarrow would still rip you apart and eat you raw

For future reference, this is the most convenient way to move a lion from one side of your garden to Continue reading →

World’s most venomous spider found in Waitrose home delivery

  Waitrose really need to get their act together. I bought one of their ‘Essential Waitrose’ 500 g boxes of Continue reading →

Drunk hedgehog found covered in booze, unable to explain where he’d been

The fact of the matter is British pubs are closing down at a rate of 31 per week. Of course, Continue reading →

Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →