Blackbird rides eagle in latest display of nature being badass

Note to all passengers: the baggage allowance is ONE nut, berry or seed maximum size of 56 x 45 x Continue reading →

This lion chilling in a wheelbarrow would still rip you apart and eat you raw

For future reference, this is the most convenient way to move a lion from one side of your garden to Continue reading →

World’s most venomous spider found in Waitrose home delivery

  Waitrose really need to get their act together. I bought one of their ‘Essential Waitrose’ 500 g boxes of Continue reading →

Drunk hedgehog found covered in booze, unable to explain where he’d been

The fact of the matter is British pubs are closing down at a rate of 31 per week. Of course, Continue reading →

Harry Kane fivers worth £50,000 are now in circulation somewhere in Britain

I know how you can turn a fiver into £50,000. To learn my secret, please mail me a fiver.   Continue reading →

My First Séance

Tried my first séance last night. The séance was held at a local psychic’s house. When I arrived at her Continue reading →

How to Use a Toaster – THE last word in toaster usage!

Great news! My technical manuals entitled ‘How to Use a Toaster’ are being published as a twelve volume set. Each Continue reading →

Where are you from?

Accents. This post is about accents. I guess I have one. It must stand out. Last week, I called up Continue reading →