We’re roughly two months into 2015 and I’m already failing to follow through on my resolution. So, here are my Top 10 Failed New Year’s Resolutions of the Past Decade. At least I’m consistent!
10. Eat more fibre
9. Reorganize plastic bag collection
8. Start returning Scarlett Johansson’s calls
7. Stop playing bongos loud in public places
6. Reduce sugar in diet
5. Continue to avoid corduroy
4. Increase sugar in diet
3. Organize campaign to return “The Powers of Matthew Star” to network television
2. Make up mind about sugar in diet
1. Marry rich
9. Reorganize plastic bag collection
8. Start returning Scarlett Johansson’s calls
7. Stop playing bongos loud in public places
6. Reduce sugar in diet
5. Continue to avoid corduroy
4. Increase sugar in diet
3. Organize campaign to return “The Powers of Matthew Star” to network television
2. Make up mind about sugar in diet
1. Marry rich
Trapped on a rock floating in space 